Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Santa Clause

One of my first memories of being attracted to big men and wanting to be one was The Santa Clause. In the movie, Tim Allen inherits the job of Santa, which results in him rapidly gaining weight. I was only ten when it came out, but I remember getting a hard-on watching the below scene in the theatre. The moment that gets me is about 20 seconds into the clip and you can see the full shape of his newly fattened body. Eventually when the movie came out on VHS I would watch this scene over and over again. It didn't make sense to methat I was so transfixed by it... but now it does.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Controlling the Gain

One of the biggest struggles for me, and other hopeful gainers, is the ability to gain with confidence. To me that is what is so sexy about the gainers I have met: The ability to go against the societal norm and love each new pound. As I have dabbled with gaining, I would put on some weight and love it. But I'd keep getting to the same point, 185 pounds, and suddenly feel incredibly self-conscious. Some gainers yearn for this point, where the world notices their gain. But that is the point where I feel like there is no going back, and I get there and realize I'm not ready.

When I first discovered the online fat-loving community, I was entranced by gainer fiction. Yet, as time has gone on I've realized that my favorite stories are ones where the guy gaining the weight doesn't have control of the situation. Something happens in the story and the guy gains weight unaware of what is causing it. Some involve actual bondage themes. I think that is the problem for me. I am drawn to the lack of control, and for various reasons it scares me.

I lack the confidence to feel comfortable intentionally getting fat, so I begin to fantasize about situations where I am not in control...relieving some level of the uneasiness. But that crops up issues with wanting to loose control without actual doing so. To have my cake and eat it too.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Gaining Perspective

SFBaydude02 is a gainer that has also recently started a blog...and it is one of the best gaining blogs I've seen in a long time. He has been posting regularly and it's not just pictures to drool over. SFBaydude02 actually writes about the gaining community, the sexuality of fat, and other topics relative to getting fat.

Check it out. It sets a high standard for blogs by other gainers. To not just eat, but also think.

Why?

When I was a teenager, trying to figure out not just my attraction to men, but also my attraction to men who have gained weight, I came across The Oinquirer. The site has since been taken down. However, back in the day it was a site devoted to recording the weight gain of celebrities. From there I discovered Big Guts, and from there Beefyfrat.

Anyone with this sort of interest in fat men can remember the feeling that they had when they came acorss such sites and felt incredible relief in knowing that they were not alone in their non-traditional interest. Furthermore, as I came out as being gay to the world, I immediately felt a need to pursue these desires as well. Sexuality is a complex thing, but this thirst for fat was somehow mixed into my head with it.

So let me explain the premise of this blog: to appreciate the bodies of men, real men... not gym-produced, starved men that society alleges is our ideal. I hope to also pursue what makes the mind of fat guys and gainers tick, so as to uncover a bit of my own mind.